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Still not feeling the urge/want to RP anymore. At this point, I think I'm holding onto Derek and Foot in Luceti because, well, I tend to hold tight to things long after they should have been let go. (Anyone who was around for the years I spent with the ex knows this.)

It's a combination of things:

I love the limited CR I have, but the setting just isn't doing it for me. I want to play with the characters...don't really care about the setting anymore, though.

I feel frustrated (I've made enough posts about why on Plurk, so I won't go over it again here).

Honestly, yes, I do read the anoncomms, and honestly, seeing so many people being ass wipes to and about each other just makes me want to take everyone over my knee and give them a good paddling, and then get the hell out of dodge. (and yes, I know this is easily solved by just not going to those places anymore. It would also give me more time to do other things. I'm having train-wreck syndrome, so I'll have to get over that first.) Which tells me I need to keep reading this a few more times.

Which leads to: I feel old. Old as in 'get off my lawn you damn kids' old. But I'm not ready to retire. I just...don't like where I am in RP land.

I...think I want to musebox and that's it. I was happiest in RP when I played at Dear Multiverse and then the people I hit it off with and I would come up with our own plots and just go with it when we felt like it. There was ongoing plot, there was crack, there was seriousness, there was a solid timeline, but it was still free form and was dependent on people coming up with their own plots and other people joining in; not just playing slice of life plots until mods or a mod-approved player plot came down the line.

I want a solid world to RP in, yes, but...yeah. I don't want total unmoderated play, but the opportunity to come up with stuff that doesn't HAVE to follow the wants of the few people who run the game I'm in is something I'd like. Or at least a little more wiggle room and imagination, as long as the ideas can mesh between players and mods.

I dunno.

I'm not sure I'll be back to Luceti. I'm really not. Not really sure I want to go game hunting either. But I still want to play Derek and Foot. Just..not sure where. And I pretty much suspect that if I drop the game? I'm pretty much killing off the chance at any sort of lasting play with people. It's not a good feeling. I feel like it's 'muddle on and hope it gets better' or 'drop and close this chapter in your life'.

And with that, I'm done with the....whatever this is.



( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
Apr. 28th, 2012 06:16 pm (UTC)
Apr. 28th, 2012 07:13 pm (UTC)
Hey! *hugs*

...and your replies still dont show up :P

How have you been?
Apr. 28th, 2012 07:36 pm (UTC)
I'm doing well! I feel so much better now that I'm no longer pregnant, it's unreal. Alex is 7 weeks old now and I went back to work this past week. He let me sleep last night (YAY!) so I feel way less brain-dead today!
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )


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